62 Funny Racist Jokes
Black People Joke
A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate; we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way. The captain then declares "All African Americans jump overboard!" A niglet tells his dad "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all black people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all colored people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "I said shut up son, we be niggers today!"
Nigger Joke
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's got a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddy's got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Bar Joke
A nigger walks into a bar with a pig. The bar man shouts "Oy, you can't bring that in here!" To which the pig replies, "Sorry man, it won't happen again."
God Joke
A nigger and a little white boy are debating on whether God is black or White. Finally the little white boy says, "let's ask God!" The White boy looks to Heaven and asks, "God, are you black or white?" God replies, "Well boys, I am what I am." The White boy exclaims, "well, that proves it, God is White!" The nigger asks, "how do you know?" The White boy replies, "if God was a nigger he woulda said 'I iz what I iz!'"
Racist Joke
Morpheus and Neo are plugged in to the Matrix and having a chat. Morpheus turns to Neo, "In this world you can be anything you want." There is a short silence. Neo: "Then why are you a nigger?"
Interview Joke
A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him: "Its people like you we want here. Here's a test. There's a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit." The docker asks: "Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?" He got the job.
Black Woman Joke
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."
Tragedy Joke
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the bottom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Black Man Joke
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her and takes her purse.
Heaven Joke
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man and when he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing . After awhile he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?" The lady replied, "Of course I do...it is the Bible." He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale? She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible. He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him." "What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask him!" replied the lady.
This is a post on funny racist jokes.
A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate; we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way. The captain then declares "All African Americans jump overboard!" A niglet tells his dad "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all black people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all colored people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again "Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "I said shut up son, we be niggers today!"
Nigger Joke
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's got a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddy's got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Bar Joke
A nigger walks into a bar with a pig. The bar man shouts "Oy, you can't bring that in here!" To which the pig replies, "Sorry man, it won't happen again."
God Joke
A nigger and a little white boy are debating on whether God is black or White. Finally the little white boy says, "let's ask God!" The White boy looks to Heaven and asks, "God, are you black or white?" God replies, "Well boys, I am what I am." The White boy exclaims, "well, that proves it, God is White!" The nigger asks, "how do you know?" The White boy replies, "if God was a nigger he woulda said 'I iz what I iz!'"
Racist Joke
Morpheus and Neo are plugged in to the Matrix and having a chat. Morpheus turns to Neo, "In this world you can be anything you want." There is a short silence. Neo: "Then why are you a nigger?"
Interview Joke
A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him: "Its people like you we want here. Here's a test. There's a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit." The docker asks: "Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?" He got the job.
Black Woman Joke
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."
Tragedy Joke
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the bottom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Black Man Joke
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her and takes her purse.
Heaven Joke
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man and when he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing . After awhile he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?" The lady replied, "Of course I do...it is the Bible." He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale? She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible. He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him." "What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask him!" replied the lady.
This is a post on funny racist jokes.