53 Kid Jokes
Grandson Joke
At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so you would be around longer.”
Musical Joke
When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we walked by later he said, “I better close the piano or the boogeyman will play some scary songs.”
Fishing Joke
My son Ryan was 2 years old when his daddy took him out to the little trout pond we built in our backyard. His dad spent a few minutes showing Ryan how to throw the line in the water to catch a fish. Then he said, “OK, son, throw it in.” Ryan threw the entire pole into the water.
School Joke
When I was teaching kindergarten and had a cold, I would often get laryngitis with it. One day a student asked me, “Do you have a frog in your nose?”
Daughter Joke
Our 4-year-old granddaughter, Ivy, has been taking riding lessons for over a year. One day during breakfast, she was talking with her mom about horseshoes. Ivy’s mom said the person trained to shoe a horse is called a farrier. “Are they little people with wings?” Ivy asked.
Egg Joke
When my daughter, Brooxie, was 5 years old, she’d stay with my husband’s parents while we were at work. One day Brooxie was helping Papaw gather eggs. While putting the eggs into the basket she was carrying, she asked, “Papaw, where do these eggs come from?” Papaw then explained in detail the delicate process of making an egg. Brooxie put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, “Papaw, I don’t eat anything that comes out of a chicken!” And for many years, she didn’t.
Bun Joke
Head lice had been detected on a child in the local school, and the teacher told the girls in his class to wear their hair in a bun to discourage the lice. My grandson, 6-year-old Ryan, asked the teacher, “A hot dog bun or a hamburger bun?”
Babysitting Joke
My mother was babysitting my son, Lance, and they were watching a foal being born on a farm animal show on TV. With wide-eyed innocence, 3-year-old Lance looked at my mother and said, “Nana, how did it get in there?” He’s almost 20 now, and someday I’ll have to tell the story at his wedding.
Chopsticks Joke
We took our 3-year-old grand-son, Sawyer, and his parents to a Chinese restaurant. While we enjoyed our wonton soup and other dishes, Sawyer and his dad wanted to eat their meals with chopsticks. Sawyer was having difficulty getting the rice between the sticks and frantically said, “I can’t get anything on these tweezers!”
Train Joke
Two 10-year-old boys from the mountains were riding a train to the city for the first time. For a snack, the attendant gave them bananas. The boys had never eaten such a fruit. Billy started to eat his banana, and the train entered a tunnel. He yelled, “Johnny, don’t eat it! I took two bites and went blind!”
Granddaughter Joke
A few years back, Criseyda, my granddaughter, was visiting me. After a while, the house became very quiet. Calling out, I said, “Criseyda, where are you?” Her answer: “Mimi, I’m here with the man who has two of everything!” I found her playing with my primitive Noah’s Ark and all the sets of animals. Sure enough, he has two of everything!
Pregnancy Joke
When my eight-year-old asked how I knew I was pregnant, I told her I had taken a pregnancy test. “Oh,” she said. “What questions were on the test?”
Skeleton Jokes
Q: Why are skeletons so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin!
Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school? He just didn’t have the stomach for it.
The skeleton cried his eyes out because he didn’t have any body to love.
Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long? A: He became bone dry
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy? Skeleton 2: I dunno. Why? Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A: Sherlock Bones
That skeleton sure brought his appetite to the picnic—and also some spare ribs.
The skeleton couldn’t keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Sunday School Joke
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so you would be around longer.”
Musical Joke
When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we walked by later he said, “I better close the piano or the boogeyman will play some scary songs.”
Fishing Joke
My son Ryan was 2 years old when his daddy took him out to the little trout pond we built in our backyard. His dad spent a few minutes showing Ryan how to throw the line in the water to catch a fish. Then he said, “OK, son, throw it in.” Ryan threw the entire pole into the water.
School Joke
When I was teaching kindergarten and had a cold, I would often get laryngitis with it. One day a student asked me, “Do you have a frog in your nose?”
Daughter Joke
Our 4-year-old granddaughter, Ivy, has been taking riding lessons for over a year. One day during breakfast, she was talking with her mom about horseshoes. Ivy’s mom said the person trained to shoe a horse is called a farrier. “Are they little people with wings?” Ivy asked.
Egg Joke
When my daughter, Brooxie, was 5 years old, she’d stay with my husband’s parents while we were at work. One day Brooxie was helping Papaw gather eggs. While putting the eggs into the basket she was carrying, she asked, “Papaw, where do these eggs come from?” Papaw then explained in detail the delicate process of making an egg. Brooxie put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, “Papaw, I don’t eat anything that comes out of a chicken!” And for many years, she didn’t.
Bun Joke
Head lice had been detected on a child in the local school, and the teacher told the girls in his class to wear their hair in a bun to discourage the lice. My grandson, 6-year-old Ryan, asked the teacher, “A hot dog bun or a hamburger bun?”
Babysitting Joke
My mother was babysitting my son, Lance, and they were watching a foal being born on a farm animal show on TV. With wide-eyed innocence, 3-year-old Lance looked at my mother and said, “Nana, how did it get in there?” He’s almost 20 now, and someday I’ll have to tell the story at his wedding.
Chopsticks Joke
We took our 3-year-old grand-son, Sawyer, and his parents to a Chinese restaurant. While we enjoyed our wonton soup and other dishes, Sawyer and his dad wanted to eat their meals with chopsticks. Sawyer was having difficulty getting the rice between the sticks and frantically said, “I can’t get anything on these tweezers!”
Train Joke
Two 10-year-old boys from the mountains were riding a train to the city for the first time. For a snack, the attendant gave them bananas. The boys had never eaten such a fruit. Billy started to eat his banana, and the train entered a tunnel. He yelled, “Johnny, don’t eat it! I took two bites and went blind!”
Granddaughter Joke
A few years back, Criseyda, my granddaughter, was visiting me. After a while, the house became very quiet. Calling out, I said, “Criseyda, where are you?” Her answer: “Mimi, I’m here with the man who has two of everything!” I found her playing with my primitive Noah’s Ark and all the sets of animals. Sure enough, he has two of everything!
Pregnancy Joke
When my eight-year-old asked how I knew I was pregnant, I told her I had taken a pregnancy test. “Oh,” she said. “What questions were on the test?”
Skeleton Jokes
Q: Why are skeletons so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin!
Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school? He just didn’t have the stomach for it.
The skeleton cried his eyes out because he didn’t have any body to love.
Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long? A: He became bone dry
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy? Skeleton 2: I dunno. Why? Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A: Sherlock Bones
That skeleton sure brought his appetite to the picnic—and also some spare ribs.
The skeleton couldn’t keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Sunday School Joke
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."